An ALLE! die English können!
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bike
computer
don
drive
englisch
extra
fehler
friend
hobby
klasse
negativ point
negative point
newsletter
not
personal
play
positiv
radio
save
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Ich muss morgen ein comment(Er?rterung) abgeben!!!
Aber ich wei? net ob das richtig ist! Ich hab n?mlich nicht besonders Ahnung von Englisch!
Das hab ich bereits bzw. das solls sein was ich gemacht habe!
Was fehlt???
Fehler?!
Bitte mir alles falsche oder unvollst?ndige hier posten! thx!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"
A week without my computer
This themes has two viewpoints:
the positive and the negativ point.
In a week without my PC I would have more free time for my hobbies. I could drive more time by my bike, for example.
As well I could do more for my school. For example I could learn more, read more? and so on.
When the computer is turned off I don?t have to pay the energy. So I can save my money. And I can the saved money spend in a new radio.
The negativ site is nothing to be scoffed at!
In a week without my personal computer I can?t hear music because all my favorite songs are on my PC.
And I can?t work for the school. For lectures, homeworks? and so on.
The biggest problem will be that I can?t get information from the Internet!
When I should live one week without my pc it would be very boring! But also very interresting because I can learn or do something else!
" -
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Stimmt sicher nicht alles (was ich da geschrieben habe), au?erdem habe ich sicher ein paar Sachen ?bersehen... Hoffe es hilft trotzdem.
This themes has two viewpoints:
the positive and the negativ point.
This themes have to viewpoints:
A positive and a negativ point.
I could drive more time by my bike, for example.
As well I could do more for my school. For example I could learn more, read more… and so on.
I often could drive my bike...
As well I could do more for school.
For example I could learn and read more.
When the computer is turned off I don’t have to pay the energy. So I can save my money. And I can the saved money spend in a new radio.
A computer needs much energy, if it?s turned off,
I could spent my money in other things...
(= zum Beispiel)
because I can learn or do something else!
'
because I could...
Beitrag ge?ndert am 6.10.2005 19:36 von johnnydepp -
1. wenn du Thema mit theme meinst, dann bitte topic.
2.drive my bike NEIN!!! ride my bike.
3. I could as well do more for school, for example learn or read more etc.
4. If the Computer is turned off, I don't have to spend any money for the extra energy. So I can save money and then use that money to buy a new radio.
5. ...I can't hear any music...
6. I can't work for school. Aus deiner Sicht KEIN "THE" SCHOOL.
7. If I had to live one week without...very boring, but...
Poste gleich noch mal eine verbesserten Text, den ich nochmal probelesen kann.
mfg, james -
Hab grad den vorherigen Post gesehen. Da drin sind einige Sachen falsch. Nichts f?r Ungut johnnydepp, ich will auch nicht angeben, aber ich bin BILI-Gymnasialsch?ler und habe so oft Sachen von meine Lehrern fast reingepr?gelt bekommen, dass es mir zwangsl?ufig auff?llt.
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oh gott ich bin doch schon raus, ansicht beim ?berlfiegen hab ich nur ein paar grobe sachen gefunden die ich anders machen w?rde...
Musst du nicht ?bernehmen, ich weiss nicht ob 100% richitg ist, ich bin nach dem klang gegangen.
the positive and the negativ point
ich w?rde eher nciht den punkt wie im deutschen nehem dennoch eher die seite... da du ja mehr aufz?hlst wie nur einen punkt(glaub ich?!?)
In a week without my PC I would have more free time for my hobbies. I could drive more time by my bike, for example.
In a week without my PC I have more free time for my hobbies, so I can drive more with my bike, for example.
... mehr hab ich ne gelesesn... ich glaube emin englisch si ziehmlich eingerostet...
MfG
Kraeusi -
A week without my computer
This themes has two topics:
the positive and the negativ point.
In a week without my PC I would have more free time for my hobbies. I could ride more time by my bike, for example.
As well I could do more for my school. For example I could learn more, read more? and so on.
If the computer is turned off, I don't have to spend any money for the extra energy. So I can save money and then use that money to buy a new radio.
The negativ site is nothing to be scoffed at!
In a week without my personal computer I can?t hear any music.
And I can?t work for school. For lectures, homeworks? and so on.
The biggest problem will be that I can?t get information from the Internet!
If I had to live one week without my pc it would be very boring, but I could learn more.
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ct2004 schrieb:
A week without my computer
This themes has two topics:
the positive and the negativ point.
In a week without my PC I would have more free time for my hobbies. I could ride more time by my bike, for example.
As well I could do more for my school. For example I could learn more, read more… and so on.
If the computer is turned off, I don't have to spend any money for the extra energy. So I can save money and then use that money to buy a new radio.
The negativ site is nothing to be scoffed at!
In a week without my personal computer I can’t hear any music.
And I can’t work for school. For lectures, homeworks… and so on.
The biggest problem will be that I can’t get information from the Internet!
If I had to live one week without my pc it would be very boring, but I could learn more.
Ich w?rde mal die Tipps lesen, die oben gepostet wurden.
Du hast in diesem Text nichts ge?ndert, es ist immer noch ziemlich viel falsch... -
A week without my computer
This themes has two topics:
the positive and the negativ point.
In a week without my PC I would have more free time for my hobbies. I could ride more time by my bike, for example.
I could as well do more for school, for example learn or read more? and so on
If the computer is turned off, I don't have to spend any money for the extra energy. So I can save money and then use that money to buy a new radio.
The negativ site is nothing to be scoffed at!
In a week without my personal computer I can?t hear any music.
And I can?t work for school. For lectures, homeworks? and so on.
The biggest problem will be that I can?t get information from the Internet!
If I had to live one week without my pc it would be very boring, but I could learn more.
So aber jetzt ich glaub ich hab alle tips
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ct2004 schrieb:
A week without my computer
This themes has two topics:
autsch.
Du solltest den Begriff Topic statt "theme" verwenden! nicht zus?tzlich zu!
Das Wort theme hat im Englischen niemals die Bedeutung Thema! topic = Thema
the positive and the negativ point.
In a week without my PC I would have more free time for my hobbies. I could ride more time by my bike, for example.
negative
entscheide dich...entweder du sagst: ride my bike, oder du sagst go by bike.
I could as well do more for school, for example learn or read more? and so on
das as well passt nicht.
schreib lieber:
I also could do...
If the computer is turned off, I don't have to spend any money for the extra energy. So I can save money and then use that money to buy a new radio.
Es ist ja alles der Irrealis der Gegenwart. Es m?sste also hei?en:
if the computer was turned off.
die Passage "and then use that money" einfach weglassen.
The negativ site is nothing to be scoffed at!
In a week without my personal computer I can?t hear any music.
And I can?t work for school. For lectures, homeworks? and so on.
The biggest problem will be that I can?t get information from the Internet!
Wenn ?berhaupt hei?t es negative side!
auch hier wieder: Irrealis der Gegenwart! (I couldn't hear any music) usw.
Homework ist immer Singular! S am Ende weglassen!
Ich w?rde statt "the negative side" eher sagen:
"on the other hand, I couldn't ....."
If I had to live one week without my pc it would be very boring, but I could learn more.
Ich finde das Fazit zu kurz. Vielleicht solltest du noch ein wenig mehr auf die Folgen eingehen.
Was ganz allgemeines zur Er?rterung:
Deine eigene Meinung/Position sollte am Ende stehen, und das st?rkste Argument f?r diese Position sollte als letztes genannt werden!
Das Fazit kannst du ruhig etwas l?nger machen, auch durch Floskeln wie "in my opinion", "I think", "from my point of view".
Schlie?lich ist es ja ein comment! deine eigene Meinung ist also gefragt!
Bei Fragen gern bei mir melden...
Gru?
ssd -
So besser?!
A week without my computer
This themes has two topics:
the positive and the negative point.
In a week without my PC I would have more free time for my hobbies. I could ride more time by my bike, for example.
I also could do more for school, for example learn or read more? and so on
If the computer was turned off, I don't have to spend any money for the extra energy. So I can save money to buy a new radio.
On the other hand, I couldn't hear any music.
And I can?t work for school. For lectures, homework? and so on.
The biggest problem will be that I can?t get information from the Internet!
If I had to live one week without my pc it would be very boring! I couldn?t hear music, I couldn?t read my newsletters or emails, I couldn?t search information from the internet and I can?t play! But I could spend more time for my family and my friends, I could read more books or magazins and I could learn more!
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This themes has two topics:
the positive and the negative point.
Erstens: This themes HAVE...
zweitens, diese Themen haben zwei Themen?
Kann nicht wirklich stimmen.
I could ride more time by my bike, for example.
I could ride my bike.
By my bike hat da nichts verloren!
On the other hand, I couldn't hear any music.
On the other hand, I couldn't hear music.
If I had to live one week without my pc it would be very boring!
Da ist die Zeit falsch, so w?re es einfacher:
A week without my pc would be very boring.
I couldn’t search information from the internet and I can’t play!
I couldn’t search for information in the internet and I couldn?t play!
(ich wei? nicht genau ob 'in the internet' stimmt!!)
---
Das ist mir aufgefallen, und hoffentlich auch richtig.
Ich bin kein Englisch Genie... aber das d?rfte so ungf. stimmen.
Beitrag ge?ndert am 6.10.2005 20:17 von johnnydepp -
Also nochmal Schritt f?r Schritt:
A week without my computer
This topic can be divided into two main aspects, the positive and the negative one.
In a week without my PC I would have more free time for my hobbies so I could ride my bike more time, for instance.
I also could do more for school, for example learn or read more? and so on.
If the computer was turned off, I did not have to spend any money for the extra energy. So I could save money to buy a new radio.
On the other hand, I couldn't hear any music.
And I could not work for school, for lectures, homework and other important things.
The biggest problem would be that I could not get information from the Internet!
If I had to live one week without my pc it would be very boring! I could not hear music, I could not read my newsletters or emails, I could not search information from the internet and I was not able to play!
But I would have more time for my family and my friends, to read more books or magazines and tolearn more!
?dit: ein paar Worte hierzu:
This themes has two topics:
the positive and the negative point.
Erstens: This themes HAVE...
zweitens, diese Themen haben zwei Themen?
Kann nicht wirklich stimmen.
Wenn schon, dann auch These themes have. aber themes passt ja ohnehin nicht....
On the other hand, I couldn't hear any music.
On the other hand, I couldn't hear music.
Ist prinzipiell egal. any dr?ckt in diesem Fall nur eine Verst?rkung aus. Vielleicht sollten wir uns auf "could not hear my favorite music" einigen?
If I had to live one week without my pc it would be very boring!
Da ist die Zeit falsch.
hm. klingt in der Tat etwas komisch.
Wie w?rs mit "this would be a very boring time for me"? oder sowas in der Art...
I couldn’t search information from the internet and I can’t play!
...
(ich wei? nicht genau ob 'in the internet' stimmt!!)
Ich mir auch nicht. Ich h?tte instinktiv "on" the internet genommen.
Gru?
ssd
Beitrag ge?ndert am 6.10.2005 20:22 von ssd_bonn -
robertj schrieb:
Gib ma bei google 'LEO' ein da kommst du zu nem guten Online-W?rtbuch!
Desweiteren ist dass kaum eine anspruchsvolle Er?rterung, da brauchst du schon mehr Fakten!
ok dude have fun while doin your homework
aight get stupid.....
peace
LOOOL das h?ttest du mir auch mal eher geben k?nnen!
Jetzt hab ich schon alle W?rter die ich nicht wusste nachgeschaut!
so ich havb jetzt folgendes geschrieben:
A week without my computer!
This topic can be divided into two main aspects, the positive and the negative one.
In a week without my PC I would have more free time for my hobbies so I could ride my bike more time, for instance.
I also could do more for school, for example learn or read more? and so on.
If the computer was turned off, I did not have to spend any money for the extra energy. So I could save money to buy a new radio.
On the other hand, I couldn't hear any music.
And I could not work for school, for lectures, homework and other important things.
The biggest problem would be that I could not get information from the Internet!
If I had to live one week without my pc it would be a very boring time for me! I could not hear music, I could not read my newsletters or emails, I could not search information from the internet and I was not able to play!
But I would have more time for my family and my friends, to read more books or magazines and to learn more!
bzw. kopiert
gibts so nen LEO auch f?r Franz?sisch?
// geht das einigermasen so f?rne 10.Klasse am Gymi?!
Beitrag ge?ndert am 6.10.2005 20:33 von ct2004 -
'Was' bedeutet 'war', daher ist es Vergangenheit, und kein Konjungtiv! Genauso mit
'can?t ', das hei?t ungf. 'nicht k?nnen' und es ist kein Konjungtiv. Darauf solltest du achten.
Ein paar andere Sachen sind immer noch verdreht, schau dir mal die Tipps oben an.
Und ja, LEO kann auch Franz?sisch.
Beitrag ge?ndert am 6.10.2005 20:45 von johnnydepp -
immer noch Fehler??? ich hab jetzt eigentlich alle Fehler beseitigt, hoffe ich zumindest!
also ich habs jetzt so gelasen und druck jetzt okay?!
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ct2004 schrieb:
immer noch Fehler??? ich hab jetzt eigentlich alle Fehler beseitigt, hoffe ich zumindest!
also ich habs jetzt so gelasen und druck jetzt okay?!
Wie du meinst, aber du hast statt einem Konjungtiv meistens einfach eine Vergangenheitsform eingesetzt, und das ist ein Fehler! Einige andere Dinge sind auch ziemlich verdreht. Aber es ist dein Aufsatz, und wenigstens ist es jetzt besser als am Anfang... -
jo seh ich genauso! Danke an alle Leutz die mir hier geholfen habe! THX!
special thank to
* ssd_bonn (wer sonst?)
* johnnydepp
THX!!!! ich poste dann wenn ich ne Note drauf bekommen habe!
Und wenns schlecht is dag ich einfach johnnydepp und ssd_bonn ham das geschrieben!
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Also wenn du 10. Klasse Gymi gehst, dann hofe ich, dass du kein Bili machst, denn daf?r ist der erste Text eine Katastrophe. Da w?rde ich mich fragen mit was du die Lehrer so bestichst. Ansonsten ist der Text jetzt relativ in Ordnung. Und da du Sch?ler bist, d?rfen auch wenige Fehler drin sein.
?brigens: Ich bin auch Gymi, allerdings GyO 11. Klasse mit Englisch LeistungsKurs.
james -
Nyoooo, ich bin wahrscheinlich schon zu sp?t, wollte meine Version aber trotzdem noch zum Besten geben ^____^ (Ist ein wenig n?her am Text und nicht ganz so elaboriert ^.~, weil ich nicht wei? in welche Klasse du gehst...)
A week without my computer
This essay deals with two aspects:
one positive and one negative.
If I did not use my pc for one week, I could spend more time enjoying my other hobbies. I could ride my bike more often, for example.
I could spend more time working on exercises for school, as well. For example, I could learn and read more often. If the computer is turned off, I don't have to spend any money on extra electricity (<~ nicht ganz sicher). So I can save money, which I can use in order to buy a new radio.
But the negative aspects should not be neclected, either!
One week without my personal computer also means that I couldn't hear any music. And I couldn't do some certain exercises for school, for example lectures or homework. The worst problem would be that I couldn't get any information from the Internet!
If I had to live one week without my pc, I would be very bored but I could spend more time learning.
Tu dir aber bitte selber einen Gefallen und schlage alle W?rter, die du nicht kennst oder wo du dir nicht sicher bist nach, ansonsten fliegst du morgen auf die Nase ^.~
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ich soll alle w?rter nachschlagen?!
da flieg iczh lieber auf die Nase!
ne quatsch das klingt schon viel zu hoch f?r mich! klingt aba gut!
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